November Updates from Vered
Spring Season Announced!
We’re closing out 2025, one of the longest (feeling) years on the record!1
We’ve got a new Essential Knowledge series and a great mix of old faves.
If you haven’t had a chance to check out the offerings, you can do it now!
Why does the bird wear a tiny hat?
KPOP Demon Hunters is calling us out
It’s SO GOOD when a good movie gets popular
Have y’all heard of this film?
KPOP Demon Hunters is an incredibly popular movie from Netflix about KPOP stars who are Demon Hunters.
If you work with kids, you probably know at least one person who had a KPOP Demon Hunters costume this year.
It’s a good movie, with great songs and important messages.
It also calls out one of our greatest failings as adults.
When a movie has wide popularity, that means its message broadly resonates. And one of the main messages is this:
The way we adults push teenagers to fit into existing systems is oppressive, harmful, and wrong.
Mild spoiler for the film:
Rumi, the leader of the KPOP group, has something about who she is that makes life harder.
Her mother figure, Celine, comes up with a solution. In a scene familiar to teens, parents, and teen therapists, Celine tries the easiest choice.
If there’s something about you that is a problem, maybe don’t be that thing? Don’t have those feelings. Don’t want those things. Don’t be this way.
Shutting off parts of ourself to fit in might appear to work. If our community is hostile to transgender people, then isn’t hiding the smart thing to do?
no.
Hiding who she is did not help Rumi. Hiding who they are does not help my trans patients.
Cutting off a part of ourselves never makes us more confident or stronger. It only makes us more ashamed, more dependent on self-hatred to make it through the day.
This film resonated with so many young people because young people need advocates.
They need people to be brave. People to stand up and say I see you. Whatever you're going through is okay. You’re worth fighting for, protecting, and loving just as you are.2
As therapists, we occupy a special role in teenager’s lives. If we’re brave, we can help other adults realize that being different is okay.
Being different can make things harder, but nothing is more difficult than having to lie about who you really are.
Old Therapist Yells at Cloud
Vered in the News
Stimming for everyone!
Recently, I swung by the Huffington Post to answer their questions on self-stimulating regulatory behavior (a.k.a. “stims”).3
Babies stim, adults stim, everybody stims because stimming is great.
People with ASD often have more visible stimming behaviors, but they’re not the only ones to self-soothe through repetitive behavior.
Stimming can vary based on surroundings and social expectations.
CEU Spotlight
Burnout
Y’all, does this highlight really need an explanation?
In case [whatever happened immediately before you opened this email] isn’t convincing enough, here are some reviews from recent attendees:
If someone you know would benefit from any of the free CEUs, please share!
Showing Some Love
Trans Lifeline
Started over a decade ago as a lifeline by trans people for trans people, Trans Lifeline has grown into an organization that provides emotional and financial care to trans people in (and out) of crisis.
Trans Lifeline was started because of an uncomfortable truth: mental health crisis systems are often not safe for trans people. They’ve developed all of their programs with an ethos of care, responsibility and transparency. They’ve stood for the trans community - not changing their mission or vision - even when it means not “attracting donors” or “saving face.”
When funding gets cut and systems break down, people outside of those systems are often best-equipped to provide care.
Read more about their work and support them here:
Monthly Hater’s Corner
Sources Regarding My Ire
a.k.a. please don’t sue me
1 I have been informed that this year contains the same number of hours as years past. To that, I say - does it reaaaaaaally?
2 I saw this post online about a guest showing up to a Halloween WEDDING in a vile outfit. The picture is taken down now, but…imagine if Kurtz from Heart of Darkness threw a costume party. Something like that. Just hideous. And no one said anything. In fact, the picture posted was from a cropped group photo. Almost all the commenters online said they would have said something, but no one at the wedding actually did. Why the disconnect? I think that people want to be brave, but don’t know how to navigate the social pressure “to not make it an issue.” I believe that protecting young people is worth the discomfort and the consequences. Condolences to the few people who hated my CEUs, but I am committed to being more unpleasant than ever.
3 Swung by, hehe
Instead of a sending a tip, say “thanks” with a donation
Survival, Together
Some lovely people have reached out wanting to send me a tip for my free CEU offerings.
Instead of sending me something, why not pay it forward in our community?
I've been a personal supporter of RAICES for a decade. Their work on immigration justice has, unfortunately, never been more important.
Until next time,
Vered